00:00:00.440 - 00:00:45.790

Oh, over Frisco. Just like a blanket above. Oh, go to Frisco. Where can you be hiding my love? When I was from the city and when the heat got me down I used to dream of setting ready in my foggy as part of town Oh, yeah

00:00:45.800 - 00:01:29.260

What I miss So please let her know I've been blue Fargo over Frisco You know I'm dependent on you When I was far from the city And when the heat got me down I used to dream of set and ready In the foggiest part of town

00:01:29.270 - 00:02:12.680

You're want a missile Please let her know up in blue Far over Frisco You know I'm dependent on you San Francisco Live from the luxurious Viacom studio on Folsom Street. It's Fog Town network. Now he is the host of our show, The Man of

00:02:12.750 - 00:02:35.350

1000 Friends Mark Caskey. Hi. I want to welcome you to Fog Town Networks Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice and Pagan Ritual Celebration. Thanks for joining us tonight on Fog Town Network. Tonight we've got a very special guest. It's the man of the season. He's known around the

00:02:35.350 - 00:02:50.660

world as Saint Nick. That's Kris Kringle and too many of us here in the United States. Santa Claus, Santa Claus. Welcome to Fog Town Network. And thanks for joining us during the this high holiday season here. All right. A little busy, but Santa, I'm a little

00:02:50.660 - 00:03:03.970

concerned, actually. I mean, this is two days from Christmas. You should be in peak form. And to me, Actually, you're looking kind of down. You look a little depressed. You're looking blue. Is there? Uh, is there something wrong? I mean, this is we need you two

00:03:03.970 - 00:03:15.670

nights from now. It's Christmas Eve. We need you in top form. That's it, You know, I mean, I'll do it, But I guess you noticed that it's a It's a tremendous amount of pressure I have to go through this time of year, you know? I mean,

00:03:15.680 - 00:03:29.310

I can see it. You got any kids? No, I don't. Well, you got any relatives? I got relatives. I get presents for kids. Okay, so you get somebody's president right? It's kind of a certain amount of trouble, right? You gotta go buy it. You gotta go

00:03:29.310 - 00:03:41.320

to the crowd. Sure. You wrap it up, you put it under the tree, and that's it. huh? Try doing that for every kid on the planet. So this really gets you down, huh? A lot of pressure, Like I said, you know? Well, we were noticing you

00:03:41.320 - 00:03:53.440

were depressed, and we put together a very special show for you. Tonight, we're gonna start off with fat Chance belly dance and follow it with lots of great entertainment. Good. Look, I want you to relax. This is our chance to provide you with a night of

00:03:53.440 - 00:04:03.980

entertainment to get you psyched and ready to go Christmas Eve. Can you Can you accept that? I'll try it. You know, just like I said, I got a lot of pressure on my mind right now. Well, this is our guilt. This is our gift to Santa

00:04:03.980 - 00:05:47.650

Claus. So let's hope for the best. Okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mhm, Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Okay. Mhm. Mm. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah, yeah! Mhm, Yeah, Yeah! Mhm!

00:05:56.140 - 00:07:54.040

Mhm. Uh huh. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Okay. Mhm. Yes. Step. Mhm. Mm hmm. Mhm. This is Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah! Yes, yeah! Mhm. Yeah! Mhm. Yeah.

00:07:54.940 - 00:08:54.360

Mhm. Mhm. Yes, Yes! Mhm! Mhm. Yeah! Yeah. What did you think Santa. Cheer up a little bit. Hey, you know, I'm getting a little old to watch that stuff. Yeah, Yeah. They look nice, huh? Girls, huh? Well, you know,

00:08:54.740 - 00:09:05.720

one of the things I want that we were a little surprised to hear about Santa being Santa Claus. Being a tough job, I thought would be the kind of job where the high regard people have for you. People are always coming up down the street and

00:09:05.760 - 00:09:16.920

telling you how much they appreciate you. I mean, isn't that a part of the job that's important to you? It's important me, but it doesn't happen much. It doesn't hurt How come? Well, look, a couple of times, kids come out once in a while, you know?

00:09:16.920 - 00:09:29.840

But I'm busy. I'm busy. All you you know, it takes me all you have to get this stuff together, you know? Yeah, all these houses. So it isn't just a part time job. It's not a part time job. Jesus. I mean, you know, I got district

00:09:29.840 - 00:09:41.600

managers, and, uh, I can go on and on about this. It's just it takes something about I want to hear about some of the problems I'm sorry. I'm really surprised to hear it. It's not a day at the beach, I'll tell you that. Really? But even

00:09:41.610 - 00:09:54.080

they think of all the help you've got. You've got the elves working with you all year. That's got to be That's got to make it a lot easier. People think so, huh? Those elves, lazy little pigs. That's what they are. What do you mean? These little

00:09:54.080 - 00:10:07.220

guys Cute little guys. Yeah, they're cute. Little. Yeah. Try to get them to make some shoes for me. You know, some toys, huh? They want to go to the movies all the time. Uh, come on, let's go to the movies. Were going to movies afterwards. Just

00:10:07.220 - 00:10:19.930

get some work. They could probably get in for kids rates to try to get into shave. They won't even shape. So I can get in half price for kids rates. No horny little pigs. That's what they are. Uh, horny little pigs. I got 16 of them,

00:10:19.930 - 00:10:30.470

but my wife on time. Oh, my God. Well, look, we got a We got a couple of guests coming up soon here that I think are gonna Really First we gotta Hanukkah sketch. I think it's going to really cheer you up, and then we've got something.

00:10:30.470 - 00:10:39.580

I want you to take a look at this. I want you to take a look at the little Tell me if it reminds you of something. Go ahead. Just take a look in there and see if it reminds you of home. It reminds you of the

00:10:39.580 - 00:11:21.660

North Pole. Yeah. Nothing really. Just kind of try to get into the nice calm. That's what you think. Feeling what it's like for you to say, You know these little pigs? Mhm. Yeah, that's what Don't Don't know why There's no sun up in the sky Snowy

00:11:21.660 - 00:12:28.570

want Since Mayer man and all I'm together Keeps knowing Know the time Okay Life is back Misery everywhere Snowy weather Just can't keep my poor self together Keeps knowing all the time Since he went away The blues walked in and memory If he stays

00:12:28.570 - 00:13:26.930

away Old rocking chair will get me All I do is pray a lot love Let me why out in the sun Once more can go Everything I have is gone We were ever since my man and I I together keeps knowing all the time Good Since

00:13:26.930 - 00:14:17.730

he went away the blues walked in and met me If he stays away, old rocking chair will get me Oh, I do is praise long Bob will let me walk in the sun once more Get, go Everything I got sends my men and I I ain't

00:14:17.730 - 00:15:16.190

together Mm Keeps knowing No. The what? Uh huh. Okay, gang, we're really excited. We get to do the Hanukkah celebration on fog Town Network. Isn't that great? Yes. All right. Now, as you

00:15:16.190 - 00:15:30.770

know, Hanukkah is an eight day celebration. Unfortunately, the producer has only given us two minutes to do it in two minutes. But we can do it. Let's pull together. I want this to be beautiful, noble, solemn and fast. Okay. All right, Solomon, you take candles and

00:15:30.770 - 00:15:58.140

Gradel's spin Radman or and riddles Richmond, you and I'll be on the song. Pickle. It's your on guitar. Ready? You ready? Yeah. All right. Um, okay. Okay. By Ruth Carta. I don't I l loo Hey, New Malek. How long shared his Shanab on this photo to

00:15:58.150 - 00:16:59.160

vit, even. Ooh, La Jolla Left. Show on. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. 5678 I don't I Hello. Hey, New melon! Hello. I shake the whole time. 50 Mater La Jolla. Lateness. Shut up! My new car. Shanghai on God, shall I? New car shell Han. Okay. Oh,

00:16:59.170 - 00:17:27.730

man. Well, Santa, you got to admit people are putting out a lot of effort just to try to cheer you up tonight. I hope you enjoyed the Hanukkah skip. Well, at least that was funny, you know, But I don't know. I My feet are frost. Bit

00:17:27.740 - 00:17:41.550

from what? From what? You know, I gotta ride around on an open sleigh all the time. It hurts, You know, one of the things I want to mention. You have to particularly appreciate Mrs Claus singing that song to you from the North Pole. Particularly when she

00:17:41.550 - 00:17:56.530

knows what's going on when you're out there on Christmas Eve, she's heard people all over the world singing. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. Still, she stayed true to you. She's there all the time. I don't do nothing like that. It's

00:17:56.530 - 00:18:08.870

like I told you, got district managers and I've been somebody else, you know, messing around. She always thinks just because of going in and out of all these houses, and I'm messing around with every woman. Boy, if I could do that, I wouldn't need a sleigh.

00:18:08.870 - 00:18:17.360

I mean, I wouldn't I wouldn't have to be Santa Claus. If I can mess around with every woman I want to let me just try not to think about some of the more positive aspects of the job. It seems like we're having a tough time here.

00:18:17.640 - 00:18:29.640

At least you get to travel to exotic places. I mean, you get to travel all over the world. Some of those beautiful places. See now Typical. That's that's how you look at her, you know? Yeah. There's a couple of nice places. Once in a while I

00:18:29.640 - 00:18:41.010

get to go to Hawaii. Usually I get some district manager does that once in a while. I go to Rome and stuff. But mostly what about Siberia? Uh huh. Be nice to go. Would you like to write oversight? Beer in sub zero temperatures will be great

00:18:41.010 - 00:18:54.110

for your complexion. Santa That roses those rosy cheeks. That's where you get to ride with nine reindeer in front of you, huh? With all the gas master windshield. You think Rudolph Candies he doesn't Candy. You know, candy coming out of their, uh, paid for coming in.

00:18:54.110 - 00:19:03.650

I pay for it coming out. I keep hearing about this. I mean, why did you take the job in the first place? How did you get it? How did it happen? That kind of comes down here. You know? It's like like I said, it's like the

00:19:03.650 - 00:19:18.630

pulp or something, you know? No. Hey, I guess I was a helper. I got We're gonna try to take a break here now for a little entertainment. We've got some Gregorian chants and we've got some comics. Hopefully, this will cheer you up. Good luck. Okay, I'm

00:19:18.630 - 00:20:20.890

fine. And even in on you cup even Saul. Always. Right. Quit any teen eggs, Helio? Revolt to stay. Feel you. Oh, Dick Cody came on your own. No shade or brought a zone right Then even your rent. So large and no. Sorry. And nous spending artist

00:20:20.890 - 00:21:10.960

Aini Ross The Rose Quinault his nephew lost. Oh, dick Oh, came on you No shit or brought. He's right. Then he club v star vehicle vehicle rig Norick Luda Caylee Car talk. It had to come Super room. It's a lot if er I eat Very true.

00:21:11.640 - 00:21:57.020

Oh Codec Iman Annual No. Szeto brought a He's right. There's a story missed on Christmas Smart Rise up shepherd and follow it will lead to the place where the savior is born. Rise up, shepherd and follow. Leave your use and leave your lambs Rise up shepherd

00:21:57.020 - 00:22:39.190

and follow Leave your sheep and leave your rams Rise up shepherd and follow Oh, follow Rise up shepherd and follow. Follow the star of Baghlan hand rise up, shepherd and follow If you take good heed to the angels Word rise up, shepherd and follow you. Forget

00:22:39.190 - 00:23:20.960

your flock. You'll forget you're hurt. Rise up, shepherd and follow. Leave your use and leave your lamps Rise up shepherd and follow. Leave your sheep and leave your friends. Rise up shepherd and follow. Follow follow. Rise up shepherd and follow. Follow the star of bad lamb.

00:23:21.540 - 00:23:46.940

Rise up shepherd and follow. Does anybody have a birthday this month? Any Christmas babies you are. What's your birthday? Last night you just forgot you had a birthday. I'm I'm a Christmas baby. My birthday's December 23rd So people always give me my birthday presents wrapped in

00:23:46.940 - 00:23:59.580

Christmas paper. It's like here. This is for your birthday and Christmas. I know you won't mind and you don't do that. Other times of the year. You don't give people combination. Presence is like here. This is for your housewarming and your Pap smear. Hope you don't

00:23:59.580 - 00:24:17.370

mind. Take it. I've already started making New Year's resolutions. It's only a couple weeks away. I'm trying to be more European. Started spelling my name with animal out. Thought that would help. Yeah. Christmas coming up. You guys excited? Yeah. I'm going to go to San Diego.

00:24:17.370 - 00:24:34.930

Probably see my dad. That's always festive. San Diego. Around the holidays, most people in the country are gathered around the fireplace drinking good coffee. I'm down there sweltering next to a cactus, I think. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. The holidays are coming up. I'm going home to visit

00:24:34.930 - 00:24:50.100

my family, my brother, and is kind of the same age as I. So we're a little competitive and spirit. Um, growing up, he had, like, better stereo. I have a faster motorcycle and he just bought a plane. So I've had to scale down the competition. I'm

00:24:50.100 - 00:25:10.870

trying to, you know, trying to get him to compete with me in a being contest. Maybe maybe for a tiebreaker Will have a beard race or something. Okay. Go girl. Okay, D say, but more organic things. So and, uh, I don't know. There always is the

00:25:10.870 - 00:25:23.770

chance that you can invite into many spirits. You know, drink a lot of cocktails. So it seems like everybody has their own way for a hangover cure. Some people say, Well, just have a lot of water, Have a lot of aspirin before you go to bed.

00:25:24.840 - 00:25:39.760

And people say, You know, just wait till the next day, Make a huge omelette and you'll be fine. They'll start to get your full get you on the way. I don't know. I find nothing beats the calming effects of a cool jail cell floor. And I

00:25:39.760 - 00:26:01.890

feel that And I'm just ready to start my day, but they won't let me till I post bail The bastards. Can you say so? Anyway, holidays are here. Yeah. Hey, don't like Well, I like the holidays, but, you know, I had kind of a rough time

00:26:01.890 - 00:26:26.210

last holiday season run Christmas or whatever. You know. You know, it was going fine. I'll hang on my cousin's watching football and playing board games, talking and laughing. Then it came time for the meal. You know, Grandma decided to fix ham. I hate him, you know,

00:26:26.640 - 00:26:48.450

hate him a lot. Tried to get around and tried to avoid dishing up. Pass the stuffing. I love stuffing rolls. I'll have some rolls. Mm. Yeah, I just love. Yeah. Mm. Regina Beans. Those like, tasty jello with marshmallows and sweet potatoes and corn beets. Mm. You

00:26:48.450 - 00:27:07.570

know, sitting there eating I'm num num num num num. And my grandma starts chiming in a say, Scott, I notice you don't have any ham on your plate. Uh huh. You eating, eating, Eating Well, wouldn't you like some ham? Oh, no. That's okay, Grandma. I don't

00:27:07.570 - 00:27:21.890

really need any ham. You know, Uh oh. I think you should have some ham. Scott. No, that's okay, Grandma. I don't really like him all that much. You know, Try to keep eating. Oh, I think you better have some ham. No, Grandma. That's okay. I don't

00:27:21.890 - 00:27:33.280

need any ham. You know, why don't I just give you a slice of ham? No, Grandma, I don't need any ham. Oh, I think you should have some ham. I don't want any ham. Have some ham. Grandma, I don't need any ham. I think you better

00:27:33.280 - 00:27:44.990

have some ham. Grandma, I don't want any ham. Have some ham. Grandma, I don't want him. Have some ham. I don't want him. Have some ham! I don't want him. Have some ham! Grandma, I don't want any ham. Have some ham. I don't want him. Have

00:27:44.990 - 00:28:08.610

some ham. I don't want him. Have some ham. I don't want any ham. You have some ham. Grandma You Abraham? I hate him. I hate hand, Grandma. Don't you understand that? I fucking don't like him. You want to have? You Ain't to Ham. Yeah, son. Well,

00:28:08.610 - 00:28:21.860

I'm really struggling, Santa Claus, but I think I can come up with something. I know People have to express their gratitude. I mean, I, for one got Alexander Alligator here for Christmas nine years ago, and I'm telling you, I want to thank you. I want to

00:28:21.860 - 00:28:33.300

thank you for it. I really appreciate it. I bet you a lot of little kids do the same thing all the time to you, huh? Did I bring you dolls when you were a little kid? Not really. But, you know, I also wanted to suggest I

00:28:33.300 - 00:28:47.880

know you got nine reindeer. I know they work every Christmas, but if you ever needed a substitute reindeer Alexander Alligator is ready to step right in and serve dot This guy, he's stronger than he looks. We would have to be a little stronger. He looks, you

00:28:47.880 - 00:28:59.050

know, it's not that easy to take all that stuff out there. He'd be He'd be easier to deal with. I'll tell you that. Easier to feed and easier to ride behind. That might be true, but But I want to ask you how things changed in the

00:28:59.050 - 00:29:11.520

years that you've been Santa Claus. I mean, what kids want now that they didn't want 10 or 20 or 30 50 years ago. I always want more. Don't give me. I like kids, you know. But, I mean, I always want more to see. You know, they

00:29:11.520 - 00:29:25.000

see the things on the T V. Give me this. Give me this. Now it's all computer stuff. You know? I can't fit at all sometimes. I mean, you know I can't kids, you know, You got any suggestions? Look This used to be my favorite one close.

00:29:25.010 - 00:29:37.190

You know, like this you put on your nose. You talk funny. You know, You put it here, you talk even funnier. You know, you get all kinds of stuff with us. A little closer make. Hi. Hi. Santa C. You know, that's easy to carry these, you

00:29:37.190 - 00:29:50.470

know, made out of wood. You know, no computer saying that you're not gonna make yourself real popular trying to talk kids into getting clothes pins for Christmas, But we're still gonna make another effort here. We've got singers, we've got a couple of goofballs, We've got some

00:29:50.470 - 00:30:04.320

more dancers. We've got built talent and others coming up to try to cheer you up again. So I want you to stay open and see if this can help you help your spirits. Okay. Oh, I ask me questions. We're gonna keep stopping me. I don't know.

00:30:04.320 - 00:30:30.420

I'm a little concerned. You're a little stuck here. Come on, let's pay attention to the next. When you got him as a kid, Mr Claus, I feel as though I know you. So you won't mind if I should get familiar. William, Santa baby, just live. Was

00:30:30.420 - 00:30:57.560

able under the tree for me Been an awful good girl Santa baby, Hurry down the chimney tonight Shut you shut You should you buddy Buddy Santa baby A 54 convertible to like blue I'll wait up for you, dear Santa baby So hurry down the chimney tonight

00:30:57.940 - 00:31:22.330

I baba doo bah ba duba Think of all the fun I've missed Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed Next year I could be just as good if you check off my Christmas list. Baba Duba Santa Baby, I want a yacht And really that's

00:31:22.330 - 00:31:48.080

not a lot Been an angel all year Santa baby and her down the chimney Tonight Shot you shadow, you shadow ba doo Ba doo Santa honey, One little thing I really do need the deed to a platinum mine Santa honey So hurry down the chimney tonight

00:31:48.090 - 00:32:17.430

Shut it Shadow shadow Ba duba doo Santa cutie And fill my stocking with a duplex and checks Sign your X on the line Santa, cutie And hurry down the chimney tonight Baba Baba, come and trim my Christmas tree with some decorations By that Tiffany, I really

00:32:17.430 - 00:32:55.750

do believe in you. Let's see if you believe in me? Baba? Lyuba, Santa baby. Forgot to mention one little thing. A rain. I don't mean on the phone, Santa baby. So hurry down the chimney tonight. Nice hurry. Hurry, worry tonight. Excuse me. Yes, I'm looking. Yes,

00:32:55.760 - 00:33:16.010

I'm looking for some Christmas spirit. Good for you. You've come to the right counter. I have. But the sign says you sell accessory. Do I do? Is Christmas spirit and accessory necessary? Accessory. It's not like a handbag. No, like a type in. I don't believe so.

00:33:16.020 - 00:33:33.850

Then how can you be selling it? I don't sell fashion accessories. I sell tree accessories. Christmas tree ornaments. Perhaps I could interest you in these dangling Santa clauses. Why would I want anything that dangles? We're looking for spirits. The first thing you should consider are things

00:33:33.850 - 00:33:50.810

that dangle. Dangling is quite the spiritual state, don't you think? Now you do have an exodus. I mean, Christmas tree, Don't you? Should I? When looking for Christmas spirit, I think you need to treat something specific to focus on. But shouldn't ex miss I mean Christmas

00:33:50.810 - 00:34:08.860

spirit be everywhere. Shouldn't we just be swimming in it? Christmas spirit isn't like aftershave. lotion. Yes, In theory, Christmas spirit should be everywhere because it's in everybody. But due to our own personal tunnel visions, sometimes we can't see the spirit inside us. So we need something

00:34:08.870 - 00:34:28.480

outside us to remind us of the spirit that's in us like a tree. And on that tree we hang own ornaments, Ornaments Oh Nam immense. How can it sounds so pornographic when you say, What kind of dangler do you have for me to hang? Only the

00:34:28.480 - 00:34:44.520

most Hang Li, the most dangly, the most fundamentally yuletide spirit inducing automates you never want to suspend from a tree Elves or India Angel, Is this what Christmas spirit is all about? Not all of it. You have to start small with the little dangly items your

00:34:44.520 - 00:35:00.680

stars, your snowmen, your sleds. At first you think they're just cute. They are cute. After you start feeling the cute, then you're more likely to feel the nicer things about Christmas, the stuff stockings, the wrapped presents, the perfectly formed snowflakes. And after all the nice, cute

00:35:00.680 - 00:35:17.650

dangly things, Well, then it's wide open, isn't it? You're right. Once I'm feeling nice and cute, I might start to feel some sweet things. Do you have any soft teddy bears? Sure. And then he really Roli Poli Santa Claus. And none Row Leo or polio. Oh,

00:35:17.650 - 00:35:32.940

you're starting to feel it. You're looking for Christmas spirit and I must selling it now. With this spirit you're selling, do I get a discount? What kind of discount? You know, one for hurried last minute shoppers. Spirits trapped individuals reduced to looking for Christmas spirit and

00:35:32.940 - 00:35:48.260

the only place they know left to look. Um, all sorry, but we do have discounts for shoppers with pre approved jaded attitudes shoppers with minimum purchase cynicism or shoppers with last minute humbug itis Why I qualify for all types of discounts. Good for you. That today

00:35:48.260 - 00:36:03.170

is your lucky day, isn't it? I guess so. You know, it is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, just like the common cold. It catches up to you sooner or later. Now, let me show you some of our deluxe ornaments. Oh yes, These dangler Czar.

00:36:03.170 - 00:37:57.740

Exactly what I'm looking for. You're quite the salesman. How long have you been working here? Today is my first day. I've just hired on his temporary Christmas help Mhm world Mhm. Yeah, yeah,

00:37:58.430 - 00:40:38.510

yeah, yeah. Mhm, Yeah. Mm. Mr. I don't want to do that. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah.

00:40:43.310 - 00:41:07.190

Mhm. Yeah. So? So, look, so here we are. Is this starting to cheer you up or what? Well, I mean, you know, I appreciate the you know, but my feet are killing me. It's frozen, You know what I mean? Well, I got to admit, saying, this

00:41:07.190 - 00:41:19.200

isn't exactly an old times old time Christmas. I mean, the entertainment you're seeing here tonight is not what you would see in a Christmas 20 or 30 or 40 years ago. But tell me something about how the whole scene has changed in the last 30 or

00:41:19.200 - 00:41:33.480

40 50 years. I remember hearing about little cottages out in the country with chimneys, and now we got high rise buildings. That's what they change. Their job bombs and all the dramas. Yeah. Little nice little cottage. You know, you go down the chimney, You know, it's

00:41:33.480 - 00:41:46.020

not always like that. You go down the chimney cookies and some milk there at the bottom. Kids, no more cookies and milk. I'm fed up with it. How about, you know, like a cheesesteak, maybe a cheesesteak and some a little shot of brandy. Guess that what

00:41:46.020 - 00:41:55.680

that is. Okay. A little shot of brandy. It's called out there. It's okay. I'm not driving the rangers driving. Okay, Santa. So I'm trying to get a picture now. Why? It's so hard Why you're so unhappy in the job. So here you are, coming down the

00:41:55.680 - 00:42:06.070

chimney at three o'clock in the morning, right? Okay. Guy comes out. He's got a shotgun. He wants to know what? The fat guy in the red suits doing his living room. I said, I'm bringing some gifts. He goes, right. I said, Well, I'm Santa Claus. He

00:42:06.070 - 00:42:17.670

goes, Yeah, I'm the Easter Bunny. That kind of stuff happens all the time. You know, we're going to take another little break here to try to cheer you. Gonna take a break with a good friend. Are is the Reverend Billy T. Uh, the first minister of

00:42:17.670 - 00:42:47.280

the first church of sex with Jesus and Mary. And here he's going to join us for a little sermon. All right, people, this has been an entertainment show today. We're having a good time together. We're singing, We're dancing. We're making little, little, little jokes with little

00:42:47.280 - 00:43:18.540

dogs. But there is a time to remember what Christmas really is. I would like to read now from the great book. I would like us now to take a new attitude, one of reverence, gratitude and worship. I'm reading from ST Matthew, Chapter 16. The Pharisees, also

00:43:18.550 - 00:43:49.960

with the sad uses, came and tempting desired him that he would show them a sign from the heavens. And he that is Christ. He answered them, saying, When it is evening, you say it will be fair. Weather for the sky is red and in the morning,

00:43:49.960 - 00:44:21.950

Christ said, You say it will be full foul weather, but the sky is red and lowering. Oh, ye hypocrites! Foul weather is foggy weather, and that is what you have here at the Fog town network. You have foggy weather hypocrites, and it says right here in

00:44:21.950 - 00:44:46.360

the fair book. Exactly what will happen to you little dancers, your little hypocrites making fun of this of this great moment in Christ's life. There he was, the baby Jesus in the manger. This Santa Claus is nothing Louis than a child abuser. The way he talks

00:44:46.360 - 00:45:18.950

about his elves and what is the relationship of our host, Mr Mark Caskey and that little dog he constantly has in his lap. What, exactly? People? What is the relationship really of this man? Mark Caskey and that dog? I'm having a vision now. God is speaking

00:45:18.950 - 00:45:44.210

to me. You're speaking to me at this moment, and I tell you, I am now blessed. Suddenly I am now blessed suddenly with the sight to see through the fog through the foggy weather. And what I see people as I see your souls hovering above you.

00:45:45.290 - 00:46:07.670

Each of you has a little soul coming out of your head, hovering above you like a little kind of foggy little white kite kind of sailing there above your heads. Now it is becoming clear as God gives me the clarity to see you. It is coming

00:46:07.670 - 00:46:31.460

clear now. Your souls have been represented by God on this occasion, as this must be a symbol. God knows what is best for us. I see. Hovering above each of your heads boxer shorts, underwear, linen of different styles. Over here we have a kind of a

00:46:31.460 - 00:47:01.240

Marky Mark style and this sort of bikini affair over here and this linen people. This underwear ensemble that is hovering above each and every one of your heads, Your represented soul, your soul made underwear as it were. They are not clean. They are not clean. I

00:47:01.240 - 00:47:31.140

see stains and she heavily stained under her hovering above your heads. I think the message is clear, as we here on this evil little cable station trivialized Christ's great birth. God help! Christ! If this Channel 53 had been in the manger had been there, um, a

00:47:31.140 - 00:47:54.920

stable that night. I'm so glad you were not there in your little pitiful dog. Now we must pray. We must pray that your underwear is clean cleaning this Christmas season. Please. On your knees, people. Let us pray to the Lord for forgiveness for being evil. Little

00:47:54.920 - 00:48:22.980

San Franciscans. Oh, Lord, forgive them. They know not what they do. Forgive them. May you fly cleanser through their souls and clean their boxer shorts that hovers beneath us in the sky in the foggy sky about San Francisco. Lord, we beseech you. I got a page

00:48:22.980 - 00:48:52.810

just like yeah, yes. Sidney. What? I told you to sell the horse stables. No, you're supposed to buy Chicago condo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sidney. Sidney, Sidney! Alcoa was up yesterday. Five and 38 No, no, no. Uh, keep praying. People keep praying. Well,

00:48:52.810 - 00:49:05.870

I gotta ask you Santa. This guy needs something really special for Christmas, I think. I mean, I don't know what we can suggest. It's going to help him at the bottom. Have you ever heard anything? Did you get the message? That was the message. Just thinking.

00:49:05.870 - 00:49:18.480

Why can't you give me a couple of bucks? You know, and trust me money to make these toys. Really? You know, by the way, who does pay for all these toys? You do? Pretty much. I mean, I'm trying for a government grant. You're not supported To

00:49:18.480 - 00:49:30.070

do this, you have to generate all the revenue yourself. Well, so what? I mean, it gets more complicated trying for government grants are trying to get guys like that. You don't put in a couple of bucks, you know. You know, So, like, uh, if you don't

00:49:30.070 - 00:49:46.310

put in a couple of exposure, Well, I'm beginning to get the pictures. I've got complaints with the elves. You've got complaints with Mrs Claus. You got you're unhappy with the way kids treat you. You think the weather's rotten? You don't get to visit any interesting people.

00:49:46.490 - 00:49:59.960

Well, you're getting tired of cookies and milk. Uh, there's a lot of negatives to this job. You're telling me. Are there any other negatives that we haven't thought of? Yeah, I got all night. I mean, there you are. You can come down here, OK? Oh, yeah.

00:49:59.970 - 00:50:16.440

You see the little vine covered cottage with a little picket fence and a little chimney that's bad enough, right? How about how about about, uh how about what's the matter? You're showing a little emotion here, Santa sometimes. You know, the Santa This is very nice little

00:50:16.440 - 00:50:27.380

kids that come and sit in my lap, You know? What about them? Some upfield. Someone can't get what they want. You know, don't do anything that bothers me. You know, I gotta work at department stores. I got to work at the department stores for, like, six

00:50:27.380 - 00:50:40.620

months before we go out and deliver everything or something. You know, some kids want their eyesight. I mean, I wonder what was supposed to deliver, kid. What's his I like Oh, that's what kids sit my lip really touching Santa. You know, just hearing you talk about

00:50:40.620 - 00:50:56.200

that. You really cheering me up? Thanks. I want to do something I really do. Our viewers, all our production tickin chipped in to buy you something. We gotta hurry up. No, really. You should open this right now. Santa, What is it? You shouldn't I shouldn't tell

00:50:56.200 - 00:51:08.460

you until you open it. You know? How about how about you go down to the ghetto? You know, you got to pull the sleigh up, right? Like crack dealers. They're going. They're going Yo, fat man, what you're doing in our neighborhood, you know, enjoy. Enjoy the

00:51:08.460 - 00:51:20.360

moment. Showing them I said, Look, I'm trying to deliver presents and go right. Gotta slay. Full of stories and good. We can talk. We can talk about the problems. Enjoy the moment here. This is a gift of love from all the people who say fog town

00:51:20.360 - 00:51:36.480

network slave full. It stole the stuff. No, look at it. Santa. What does it say? Says the Eddie show. That's another program. It's another program on channel 53. This is terrific. Hold the cup up to the camera so they can see it. This is the Eddie

00:51:36.480 - 00:51:51.890

show. This is very nice. The people at Fog Town Santa. That's terrific. Well, I hope you appreciate. And who's who's the guy on the other side? He kind of looks a little bit. Is he a relative of your soon? I don't know, guys. Well, you're trying

00:51:51.890 - 00:52:04.600

to cheer me. I'm trying to cheer you up. Okay, Now, you were just talking about the ghetto neighborhoods. What happens when you find yourself going out to the slave? What kinds of things do you complain? You going? You know, you got the keys to the apartment,

00:52:04.600 - 00:52:17.240

right? You bring the stuff in there, cops come up and say, What are you doing? Fat man in a red suit, Right. Bringing gifts. They see a whole slave full of stuff. You're bringing the gifts into the into the part. I don't believe you're right. No,

00:52:17.240 - 00:52:28.100

no, it's up against the Let's. See some I d try to show them some idea before you finish s claws on it. Before you finish this problem, we've got one last act that we want you to want you to see. I like the cop. You do

00:52:28.100 - 00:52:42.000

like the company. We've got some hula dancers. We're going to perform a whole a Christmas song. Well, this is special for you. I got some of that stuff. You know what? Yeah, sure. This is special for you, Sam, and we hope that this will get you

00:52:42.010 - 00:53:40.770

on the road. So come Christmas Eve, two nights from now, you're in peak form and ready to fly. We'll give it a shot. Okay, Let's give it one more tribe. Just like I used to know. She drops. Is he? Uh huh. Mhm.

00:53:41.250 - 00:55:19.550

Way. Well, through the smooth, mhm, anything you can do it. Come down. Yeah, right. Mhm. All right. Mhm. Yeah. Me marry Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Uh, your person. Mm. Mhm three. Remember? Mhm. I know. Yeah. Mhm.

00:55:22.040 - 00:55:58.060

San Francisco. Thanks for watching our show from all of us at the Fog Town network. We wish you a safe and happy holiday. And don't forget our motto. If you don't like TV, go out and make some of your own. Mm Mm

00:56:07.230 - 00:58:23.960

mm. Mhm. Yeah. Uh huh. Mhm. Yeah. Right. Alright. Christmas. Honestly Slamming? Uh huh. Yeah, yeah. Mhm.

00:58:24.530 - 00:58:38.740

No. Uh huh.